Why we don't want your stupid cup cake

Listen up moms of little ones..... We don't want your stupid cupcake. Please don't take this personally. We (educators of the little minds) just don't want your precious birthday cupcake in our class and here's why:

1. I have 27 kinds in my class. No that's not a typo. Lets subtract the 6 students with summer birthdays so that brings us down to 21. That means 21 birthdays and 21 sets of 30 cup cakes that you sent in this morning. Those cupcakes sat in my room waiting for lunch time. Space is clearly ample with 27 desk and 27 chairs and 27 little bodies to go in those 27 chairs at those 27 desk. And these new ones where all the cupcakes a put near each other and have a picture created in 3 inches of icing in the 3x3 box. Even better.

2. Can your kid carry around a box and pass out cup cakes in a non-chaos causing manner? Probably not,  so guess who gets to do that?! Not you. You are eating your lunch free of spilled milk, cries of "he touched me!!!" and food containers kids can't open. No worries, I will pass out the cupcakes during my lunch. Those 20 minutes where I get to converse with adults are not precious to me.

3. You sent an extra one in for the teacher. Bless you. I can't eat 21 cupcakes. We already stress eat because it's all we have.... Try keeping your cool when little Sally has made Little Maddie mad for the 10th time that day.  I refuses to gain 10 lbs of cupcake.

4. Food allergies. Funny how there's always 3-4 kids with "allergies" in each class for the little ones, but by time they hit 4th grade we're down to 2 for the whole grade. The follow conversation is real (names have been changed)
Student 1: Julie told me I have to move seats because she's allergic to fish and I have tuna today.
Teacher: Hold up, Send Julie over here.
Convo with Julie
Teacher: So what's going on?
Julie: I am allergic to fish.
Teacher: If you smell fish does your throat swell? Do you break out in a rash and I need to hit you with an epi pin and call 911?
Julie: Well no....
Teacher: Go sit down.

To those students with true food allergies, I am sorry and happy to accommodate your little one. But for little jimmy isn't allergic to red. Having the dietary restrictions of 27 kids is taking up ample space in my brain I will never, ever get back.

5. You kid picks his nose and looks like he slept in his clothes. No I don't want your homemade cupcake. End of Discussion.

6. Cat Hair- enough said

7: Not fully cooked- yummy.

8. Cupcakes containing no natural food color.

9. Holidays/Class Celebrations = MORE CUPCAKES!!

10. Guilt trip. Do I tell the student "No, I don't want your Birthday cupcake?"  Or do I take it and trash it later and hope they're not looking?

So parents, dig a little deep and think outside the box. STOP WITH THE CUPCAKES. I walked into a kindergarten room for valentines and they were making fruit parfaits. They had their yogurt and fruits in valentines colors. I really wanted to stay and enjoy. With pintrest there's no need to settle any more.

I would like to leave you with the following picture. I think you will see why I don't want your stupid cupcake.

Folks, that neon purple is not normal.