Killing Weeds

Killing weeds is never fun. It may be cathartic if you've had a rough day, but no one jumps at the chance to weed the garden. It's just not pleasant. I recently found myself cleaning the yard and killing weeds with my trusty bottle of round up and like most mindless task, I found myself thinking about life while I sprayed roundup on what I hope were weeds.

You see the weeds in my yard are two and half years old. I know this because that's how long it's been since our yard received some serious love. The weeds were symbolic of our lives going through cancer and then grief. When you enter the world of life with cancer, your new normal does not involve yard work, or home repairs. It involves clinics, hospital stays, trying to not fall behind at work, and fast food. Then we lost our new normal life and entered the world of grief. Part grief and part exhaustion from the past year and half collided and the energy to do anything outside of the normal means to life, was just to overwhelming. For every weed, a new emotion.

You see when we first entered the world of cancer people were quick to help with out us asking. Food was delivered, a group showed up to finish some projects and clean the yard. We were and are thankful for this. It helped make the transition easier.  Then the rain fell and the garden grew. Yard work was never any where near the top of the to do list.

Grief is terribly isolating. However, if you go the other side of the world, you will find a group of women who smile the biggest smiles you have ever seen. These women are either widows or left by their husbands. Due to the culture and legal marriage age of 15 they have limited skills to earn a living and mouths to feed. These women have banded together and are supported by the community. They learn job skills as these women go through life together. Not because it's fun or church organized. They have to. To put food on the table and educate their children in hopes of a better future. If you are ever blessed to meet a group of these women I hope they rip your heart out in the best of ways. I have met these women and they are full of more life and love for the lord than any one I have ever met. In meeting them all I wanted to do was cry with an over whelming emotion I can explain, but I couldn't cry because soon a short 4 ft 5 woman with missing teeth grabbed me by the arm singing with the biggest smile on her face. Soon we were in the dancing circle singing and dancing. I couldn't cry, they were just too happy and I didn't want to rob them of this joy. These women in this community who had nothing, were so very happy. This is where happiness is in its purist form. Living life and supporting one another because it's what they must do to live. It wasn't about a monthly to do at the church or a biannual event. It wasn't way to feel like they had served the lord and filled up their Jesus tank.

I thought about these women and how great they have it. You see my family has been on the receiving end of these church groups and good deed quota feeling events. But here I am, killing weeds, while my yard has been cleaned up and repairs fixed, those weeds grew back because cancer and grief aren't a one time thing. They are a lifetime thing. While everyone is quick to help once or twice, few are willing to walk this path; for those few who have we are so very thankful.

While my dad was sick and in the months following a neighbor would push his lawn mower down the street to our house and cut our grass. He wouldn't ask or say "Call if you need anything". He just did. Friends that call and say "I'm a minute from your house and coming to visit"  Those are God's people. The small group of people who I would call my parents true friends, who showed up to clean and organize our garage with out motive. And this tiny group, even though my Dad no longer gets to join them on their Friday night Mexican dinners, my mom is always invited. Still a part of the group.

I am often asked "Hey, how's your mom?". I have decided I will no longer answer this question. I am not her and I can not tell you how she is doing. If you want to know, call her, message her, stop by the house and find out for yourself. I once had a fortune cookie tell me "Joy shared is doubled, sorrow shared is halved". This cannot be more true.

This phase of life has taught me to help other with out asking and to listen when a friend needs to talk.

In short, if you find yourself wanting the share God's love with some one in need, be prepared to pull up the weeds when they regrow.

Candy and Standardized testing

Here's to you bag of Easter chocolates on sale,
        I bought you as a reward for my students weathering the spring storm of standardized test. You seem like such a small offering for the torture their minds go through. I'd take them all to sky zone to jump, but I'm a teacher and that's just out of my pay grade. So clearance sale candy it will be. My small offering to my little troop of 5th graders.

 I don't know what I would do with out you recess cups and cadbury eggs. I justify the calories I consume with the 2 miles we pace in the room while the kids test. I really did buy you for the kids. When the silence and white walls start to get me, your chocolate and peanut butter yumminess are there for me. You're all I have. Devoid of human interaction and conversations.

 I know peppermints "help the do well" and I enjoy a nice peppermint on occasion, but this a job for chocolate. When I am on my second group of kids for the day and hour number 4, you are still there.... for the kids of course. When I eat my lunch walking down the hall between rounds of testing and only get to eat half of it, you're there waiting for me. When my blood sugar flat lines from doing nothing for hours on end, you are there with your colorful packaging, and you mini cadury eggs are just the thing to spike the blood sugar. You really help the kids wake up and recharge on those 10 minute breaks they get. Thanks for getting us through this testing season, you were really there in those moments of despair.... for the kids.

Being an Athletic Girl is in style.... finally.

I'm finally in style. It only took 25 years to be cool to be athletic. I'd like to thank Brandi Chastain in the 99' women's world cup for getting this movement going so many years ago. It still took a good decade to really make being a female athlete cool but it's here. It's been a long time coming my friends. I'd like to think I was just so in fashion I was a decade a head of the others. 

I have tried to be in style, I have. It's just that I really, really hate shopping. God forbid I need to go buy new jeans. I may or may not wear a pair of my brother's old pants that no longer fit him because they actually fit me correctly. When it comes to shopping, I'm good for one or two stores and they better not have crowds. To all the older girls who lived on my street and current friends who regularly clean out their closets and give me the good stuff; I thank you for keeping me semi in style all while avoiding shopping. 

It's not that I don't want to be super girly, I just don't care and spend my time/money else where. Take for instance Middle and High School. On the days I put on my little one thing of eye shadow, it was warn off by third period and I just didn't care to put more on. To reapply I would have had to do one of the following: walk through a very crowded hall to get to a bathroom to get a tiny mirror to put it back on and that is totally do-able, I just HATE being late to things and being late to class just wasn't an option for something dumb like make up. I could also carry a mirror and make up with me but that would require a bag of some sort and my school supplies were enough to keep up with. I also had soccer every other day and saw no need to put on make up before hitting the fields. 

Back in day, the women's athletic section was oh so very tiny and majority of it in pink. They were bleak times my friend. I remember when the soccer store got girls cleats for the first time. Now we have entire stores dedicated to women's fitness and all the athletic gear we could need and not in pink. Whether we actually work out in said clothes is another story, but a girl can dream. Times have changed and it's wonderful. Athletic clothes are in and I am finally in style.....kinda. 

Like most people, my clothes reflect my mood. Last spring I looked a hot mess 6 out of 7 days. Cause I was. Grief is so fun. My clothes also factor in my whole day. I dress for the majority of my day and being comfortable for such majority. Don't expect me to get all fancy for six flags. Lastly, weather. I live in Georgia and it's currently 80.......in April. It's a little warm down below the mason-dixon and I just want to be comfortable. I'd wear shorts but apparently having them only as long as your underwear is a thing, and I just can't do that. So a cotton sun dress it is. 

My hair has always been a topic of conversation with "Why don't you wear it down more?" Again- below the mason-dixon. I have freakishly thick hair. Both of my parents were given the gift of hair so their spawn got really, really thick hair. It took me a few years to learn to tame this beast my friends. Our family hair stylist, Brittany (she's awesome) will speak on my behalf. The phrase "Omg, It looks like a dead animal on the ground" has been used after a trim. Also, I hate hair in my face. HATE-IT. And pony tails and messy buns are in. So again, I was a decade a head of you. 

Here's the equation: Mood + majority of day + weather = outfit

To those of you who look cute all the days of the week. I commend you. I admire your cute style and would gladly help you clean out your closet. However, I draw the line at monogram Monday. If you want to do my shopping for me. I will gladly give you some money, ok not much money cause I also hate paying for clothes. But feel free to shop for me on a budget. 

Now shopping at REI and Nike running shorts are in. Title Nine and LuluLemon, I love you but I am a teacher and can hardly afford your sale rack. But still I love you. I'm glad that being an athletic girl is cool and I hope it stays. Healthy isn't skinny and muscles don't make you look a like a man, but there's a limit to the muscles one. So lets all accept each other as we are with how we dress cause you don't know what some one's dressing equation is. 

The colors duke!!!!

For quite some time now I have wanted to do a color run. However, thanks to the ole coaching soccer gig, weekend time was not exactly ideal. I signed up in January for this bad boy because I'm not coaching this year and I can sign up for things and not have to worry about a game schedule. If you've never coached, you don't know this joy. Few things are greater.

It was Cold, The sweat bands kept our ears warm

I convinced my friend Mandy to tag a long in the 11th hour. Fun fact, once you run a half marathon, no one wants to do a 5k with you. I don't always have to run ya'll. I will be more than happy to go at your pace for the fun stuff where there isn't a prize for winning. I'm just a girl looking for an adventure buddy.

We kicked off our first day of spring break by heading down to Atlanta motor speedway to the happiest 5k

. We checked in and got a our race gear then quickly ran back to the car cause it's was windy and cold. But soon it was time to start and off we went. First color up, Pink. Followed by orange, blue, yellow, and silver glitter. The call this bad boy The color run and it really should be a color walk. A good 80% of the participants, walked. Those that were running where 1st time 5k people. It was a very odd thing to see no one actually running a race. The course around the track was easy with only one hill. There were young ones as old as 5 "running" this bad boy. There was also a set of girls riding scooters. I kinda felt like that was cheating, not that any one actually won the "race". In short it was a fun experience. One odd thing I have never seen before was they had constant start times. When we finished, people were still checking in and headed to the start line. I have never seen a race set up this way. But over all I would highly recommend this to any first time runners, people who just want to walk or want a family friendly race. They're doing a glow in the dark run this fall and we plan on signing up. Feel free to join us!

Because you are wondering: Yes, the color washes of easily unfortunately, the glitter takes a little longer to shake off.

In efforts to better the world....

In efforts to better America I write the following:

Fashion tip: Leggings aren't pants and not every one should wear them. Spandex is a right not a privilege. I recently helped out at high school youth retreat and realized I now look at the young teens and say “what are you wearing?!?!” I-AM-OLD.  An oversized t-shirt with leggings, socks and chaco sandals isn't a favorable look on any one. I didn't know looking homeless was cool. I know I am no fashionesta by any stretch of the imagination, but my word young ones. Step it up a level.

Group text messages: Like leggings, they have their place. First one to arrive at dinner and get the table, sure send the group the message. Sending a message to see if any one wants to go see a movie? Sure. Something funny happens and you want to tell a few people; sure, send away. Last minute change in plans because there's a 3 hour wait at the bowling ally. Yes, that information needs to be communicated in mass and quickly. But can we please, for the love of recess Easter egg cups, not carry on with the group text about nothing?!?! Here's a few pointers: if you don't know all the contact on the message, don't try to be funny. If it is in no way shape or form related to the matter at hand, just don't. Being on a group message is kinda like that time I was stuck on plane for 8 hours by an 82 year old Dutchman who hadn't showered and my mini tv didn't work. I don't enjoy my phone pinging relentlessly with your fodder. Just stop with the groupness or apple give me a way to opt out of this hostage situation I beg.

Taking pictures with our mouth wide open- are you trying to catch an m&m? goldfish? peanut? or did you just win bingo? If the answer is no, close your mouth and just smile. We don't need to see your molars.

Hash tag abusers: Hash tags serve the following purpose: To link up post about a common topic such as #lightthenight. That hashtag has purpose. Creating one for your wedding is fine. Couples should get to see all the pics their friends take at their wedding. You can make a hash tag or two to be funny but cut it off at 3. Some of you have way to many and it serves no purpose in life. Lastly, quit hash tagging your kids. Your hashtag makes what ever you post public so tag accordingly.

I think if we all work on these little things our world will be a better place, just a tad. But in the words of the greatest movie of my generation “Quit trying to make fetch happen”

I never get picked for anything.... until NOW!

Growing up I never ever got picked for anything. Tested for the gifted program and missed it by 1 point... 1. I still haven't won a pie walking contest! EVERY ONE WINS THOSE. Raffles, Contest, Guess how many inches/jelly beans/due dates. ALL WRONG GUESSES. In fourth grade I wanted to do science Olympiad and because so many kids wanted to do it, they had a paper airplane contest to determine who got to be on the team. REALLY!?!?! No, I don't hold grudges at all. I did once win Braves tickets from Mcdonalds when I was 9. So I guess I won something once. I would score goals in soccer and the paper would put some one else's name! In 8th grade the PE award went to a way less athletic girl, (Athletics was all I had back in the day) only to have the PE teacher tell me "We really wish we could have given the award to you too". Seriously?! I held all the PE records for girls and a 6:10 mile.

In college there was a group in my sorority that won all the live long time. Good luck just followed them every where they went. Go to a concert and get selected for upgraded front row seats, radio contest won, scratch off lotto tickets with enough zeros to match the whole $2 I would get; won. At least I broke even with my ticket. There should be some equilibrium to the contest world. Once you've hit your quota you lose. No more being picked!

But today the I call an equilibrium in my contest world and I will sacrifice being selected for any other thing (except mabye the lotto) because I have cashed in my winnings and get to be a part of Jen Hatmaker's new book For the Love launch. Deep down I am believing I was selected for my wit in charm and not for fitting a criteria. There were 5,000 applicants and they picked 500 of us. If you know me, you know Jen is "my BFF" even if we've never met. I found her through her book "7" then Interrupted  and was hooked with her wit and charm paired with love for the world and Godly outlook on this big mess we call life. I realized there is hope for my personality type. I have given her books to many of my friends and talked about her show Our Big Family Renovation on HGTV and gotten others hooked. She's just simply awesome in all the ways. I'm usually not an excessively emotional BUT OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here's what I get to do. Read the book before it hits the shelves and spread the good words to the rest of the world. There's more to it but I've been sworn to secrecy. I feel like I should have a members only jacket for this.

So Karma I call us good friends again. You and the contest/application/please pick me world have made up for your past discretion. Now to wait on my copy of For The Love.

Side Note: You can pre-order the book and wait on the mail man with me. I'd love some company.

I'm only half crazy, I think.

I RAN MY FIRST HALF MARATHON!

A week later and it doesn't quite seem like I ran 13.1 miles. All the miles are jumbled together in my mind and it kinda feels like a 5k in my brain. My body kindly reminded me it was in fact 13 as I was a little stiff the following day.

We signed up for the race in August when it all seems like a really fun thing to do and sure you have more than enough time to train. If you have never signed up for a Disney race, the spots go quick and I recommend getting set up on the e-mail reminders. When I signed up online they put me on hold..... I didn't know that was a thing, but it is. So I "trained". I ran some miles, did some work outs, but I didn't really stick to the plan and wasn't near running long enough distances. Yes, I realize the term "long runs" is a personal opinion. I knew I was in shape but not sure if I was half marathon in shape.

Our group of four packed up and headed to the happiest place on earth. Magic Kingdom. We spent our Friday enjoying all that Magic Kingdom has to offer. Despite it being Florida's "day of winter" at a windy 50 degrees, we had a blast. Thanks to the weather the line for splash mountain was nonexistent. So splash we did. We had a surprisingly healthy and yummy meal at the Harbor House in the kingdom. I highly recommend this location for some food. Because it was winter day in Florida they gave us free hot chocolate. Bless them.

Packet Pick Up

Saturday we went and picked up our race gear and went to the expo where they have all things running and Disney. We had a fun casual day getting excited for the race and checking out all the vendors selling running stuff I didn't know existed. This also made me second guess what I did/didn't have to get me through this race. Would I need one of those foot massager foot sticks? Would I need compression sleeves for my legs?? Did I need the special muscle cream?? There is only one vendor with the privilege to sell Disney race gear with shirts and skirts and all the other things you didn't know you needed in trend with your favorite Disney gal. While I really did like the companies clothes, I  wasn't crazy about their designs. They put big bows on all their items and that's just not my style. I was a little bummed to not see some of the cute shirts I had seen on pinterest with cute quotes from movies. Like one that says "just keep running, just keep running", However, I walked away with a Disney princess race weekend shirt that I like. After dinner at Bongo's in down town Disney we were off to bed.

Start Line

At 3:30 the alarm went off. Ya'll. That's crap early. To my surprise I woke up relatively easy and excited to run. We were very calm and zen like beforehand which was not how I anticipated feeling. I'm sure I was calm due to my excellent training regiment. (I really need a sarcasm font) A few granola bars later and we were on the shuttle to the start line. We stayed at the fabulous Pop Culture resort. I recommend staying on property for the race. It will take a lot of stress out of your morning trying to get in the park and find a place to park and then walk and walk some more. Trust me on this one. The shuttle system they have set up for the race is flawless to and from the race. Kudos Disney on the transportation. Also, all Disney hotels cater to the runners schedule with breakfast on the go ready to be purchased for a small fee of course.

So when you get there you walk a little ways to get in to the holding area. You can drop off your gear if you need and then take a nice little walk to the starting corrals. There are more than enough porta-potties along your walks for all you nervous peers. If you're like me and not crazy about being cold. You can wear and old jacket or sweater and drop it at the start or along the race and your item will be collected and donated. Again, nice touch Disney.

With 4 in our group 2 having ran before and 2 newbies, we were all set to be in different corrals. We just picked one the middle and it worked out just fine with us all running together. So we lived like cattle and hung in our corral with the other runners.

All the runners taking pictures! 

Out comes fairy Godmother to wish us well and the fireworks go off and the really fast runners take off. The rest of us chill in our holding pins like cattle. Every few minutes, more fireworks and another group goes. The sound reminded me of the Hunger Games when they put the pictures up on the sky at night. Fairy Godmother is quickly replaced by two guys who are fairly entertaining as each group gets its start. 30 minutes after the start it was finally our time and we're off to the Magic Kingdom! Just past the start line is a marching band to get ya going, Nothing like a good drum line to start a race. With a mix of running levels we went with a run 4 walk 1 pace for the race from the start and it was the best thing we ever did. The first part of the race is on back roads and the highway in the park. They have set up characters and some parade floats to keep you in the Disney magic. Porta-pottys are along the race trail and if you can make it to mile 2 or 3 the lines are gone and it won't kill your race time to stop.

 Lines quickly form to take character pictures as well. This is the part of the race where you see the first group of runners looping back, you'll hate them. Around mile 5 you hit the Magic Kingdom. And you need it at mile 5. I was starting to the wall but then you realize how close you are and you forget that your have just run 5 miles and have many more to go. Entering the Kingdom is pretty awesome to say the least. Running down Main Street while the crowd cheers like crazy. Through tomorrow land past the tea cups and you will be greeting with gentlemen with boxes of tissues. While running this race is emotional, I didn't feel the need to cry about the castle. Maybe I'm just too much of tom boy for this emotion. Once you go through the castle and wave to the crew from Frozen, it's picture time. It's a cool place to stop and take a few pictures. After a few photo ops we took off through the rest of the park. Back to the side roads where characters and DJs cut jokes. You have one hill and it's curved road up to the overpass. It's NOT FUN. It's just an awkward nor level road, but because they are Disney and every little detail has been thought about, you will find one of the green army men from Toy Story encouraging you and engaging people in push up contest.

 After that it's a straight shot to Epcot. You hit the 12 mile mark and you decide to book it to the finish (well, we did) and in to the park you go and down around the fountain that you really just want to jump in you loop the fountain and head back to the globe. I ran around corner after corner waiting to see the finish line. I was on the last mile by golly! And the sides are lined with people cheering "you're almost there!!!' and took all I had to not stop and grab someone by the collar of their shirt and demand they tell me exactly where the finish line was. It felt like the longest mile and point one of my life. But then I saw the finish line, so I ran. and I ran. I crossed the line not sure if I should cry, jump for joy, hug some one or just collapse. I collected my medal from one of the Grandma volunteers who was as equally excited to give me my medal as I was to receive it.

After the race there's lots to do, take pictures, have a beer, and enjoy your snack box while you sit down with a bag of ice on your feet. I didn't think I was hungry, and then I opened my box where it was filled with salty chips and cheese dip, apple sauce, chocolate, and much much more. I loved my snack box more than I probably should have.

We came in under 3 hours with our 4:1 pace which was perfect for a first race. I never felt like I was going to die or just couldn't keep going. I'm sure running with a group and being entertained by all the magic of Disney helped and what ever is in those little cliff bar jell packs. That thing gave me a new leg on mile 7.

I didn't know how this race would go and I probably prayed more about finishing this race than God needed to hear about, but I finished and felt better than expected. It was an awesome first for sure. I would highly recommend this race to any new runner or experienced runner. It was nothing short of amazing and magical. One day I would like to do the glass slipper challenge where you run the 10k and half in a weekend. You get a special Medal and t-shirt for it. But that's a story for another day. I doubt I'll ever feel the need to run full marathon and I'll stick to being half crazy for now.