Why we don't want your stupid cup cake

Listen up moms of little ones..... We don't want your stupid cupcake. Please don't take this personally. We (educators of the little minds) just don't want your precious birthday cupcake in our class and here's why:

1. I have 27 kinds in my class. No that's not a typo. Lets subtract the 6 students with summer birthdays so that brings us down to 21. That means 21 birthdays and 21 sets of 30 cup cakes that you sent in this morning. Those cupcakes sat in my room waiting for lunch time. Space is clearly ample with 27 desk and 27 chairs and 27 little bodies to go in those 27 chairs at those 27 desk. And these new ones where all the cupcakes a put near each other and have a picture created in 3 inches of icing in the 3x3 box. Even better.

2. Can your kid carry around a box and pass out cup cakes in a non-chaos causing manner? Probably not,  so guess who gets to do that?! Not you. You are eating your lunch free of spilled milk, cries of "he touched me!!!" and food containers kids can't open. No worries, I will pass out the cupcakes during my lunch. Those 20 minutes where I get to converse with adults are not precious to me.

3. You sent an extra one in for the teacher. Bless you. I can't eat 21 cupcakes. We already stress eat because it's all we have.... Try keeping your cool when little Sally has made Little Maddie mad for the 10th time that day.  I refuses to gain 10 lbs of cupcake.

4. Food allergies. Funny how there's always 3-4 kids with "allergies" in each class for the little ones, but by time they hit 4th grade we're down to 2 for the whole grade. The follow conversation is real (names have been changed)
Student 1: Julie told me I have to move seats because she's allergic to fish and I have tuna today.
Teacher: Hold up, Send Julie over here.
Convo with Julie
Teacher: So what's going on?
Julie: I am allergic to fish.
Teacher: If you smell fish does your throat swell? Do you break out in a rash and I need to hit you with an epi pin and call 911?
Julie: Well no....
Teacher: Go sit down.

To those students with true food allergies, I am sorry and happy to accommodate your little one. But for little jimmy isn't allergic to red. Having the dietary restrictions of 27 kids is taking up ample space in my brain I will never, ever get back.

5. You kid picks his nose and looks like he slept in his clothes. No I don't want your homemade cupcake. End of Discussion.

6. Cat Hair- enough said

7: Not fully cooked- yummy.

8. Cupcakes containing no natural food color.

9. Holidays/Class Celebrations = MORE CUPCAKES!!

10. Guilt trip. Do I tell the student "No, I don't want your Birthday cupcake?"  Or do I take it and trash it later and hope they're not looking?

So parents, dig a little deep and think outside the box. STOP WITH THE CUPCAKES. I walked into a kindergarten room for valentines and they were making fruit parfaits. They had their yogurt and fruits in valentines colors. I really wanted to stay and enjoy. With pintrest there's no need to settle any more.

I would like to leave you with the following picture. I think you will see why I don't want your stupid cupcake.

Folks, that neon purple is not normal. 

For the First Time..

When's the last time you did something for the first time? A week? A month? year or two?? If you are waiting for a little nudge to do it, this is it! I recently went the gun range for the first time and it was nothing short of amazing. Not going to lie, it was a tad nerve wracking walking in. I mean you walk in and there's all these guns and you watch the little safety video in case you didn't already know you don't walk in front of the stalls with people shooting guns. Sadly there are people who need that little PSA.

PSA over and off to the range we went (we, as in the people I sit with at church) So you get your noise canceling headphones (yes you need these) and targets. As you enter the range you start to hear the sound of guns and you get scared. Then you are start having the visions that something could go terribly wrong like this:


And then you hear all the booms and pows and your heart races and your palms get all sweaty and then you think you're going to drop the gun while it is loaded and OMG what did that stupid video say?!  what about stray bullets and what if I pull the trigger by mistake?!?! This is the part where I recommend going with some one who knows that they are doing and owns a gun. They will bring you all the calmness you need.

The first time you shoot its crazy, cause you really don't know what's going to happen or where you are really aiming. Try to keep your eyes open.  Then you shoot and you're hooked! And not to brag but I may have been a better shot than a marine.

We also went on Ladies night so it was super cheap. (highly recommend) Now I'm sure all you gentlemen out there roll your eyes at the mention of a "ladies night". The way I see it, if were going to get hit with a bloated emotional bus every month just so we can grow a human for 9 torturous lovely months then yeah, we should get discounts and free drinks. It's only fair.

As I drove home I realized I haven't done something new in a long time and I need more first in my life. Conquering those nerves and fears and feeling that boost of self confidence. It's awesome! Knowing that I am fairly certain if attacked I could defend myself. So I held my head a little higher now and get giddy with excitement thinking of going again. I also am making an effort to do more first and be nervous. Surprise yourself.

 I am open to suggestions on more first so feel free to leave one! Got any recent first times? I would love to hear about it!

Now run along and go do something for the first time.