Frugal Travel Spotlight: Bozeman,Montana

If it wasn't for the massive snow fall in the winter, my bags would be backed and I would be on my way to Montana. To say it's beautiful place would be an understatement. With mountain views from just about any where, it hard to not be at ease when there. While the cost of a plane ticket to Montana usually isn't in the bargain category, if you use airfarewatchdog.com you can find an affordable ticket. Flexibility would be key on planning this trip for a better price. I flew out on a Wednesday with a return flight on a Monday. Both with short layovers but over all were fairly easy travel days.

Once there your biggest issue will be deciding what to do first. You options are, hiking, kayaking, paddle board, exploring caverns, down town shopping, tubing, fishing, hunting, museums, bowling, Yellowstone, Big Sky, and the list goes on and on and on. The good news is most of it is free or simply the cost of renting what ever fun flotation device you need. We opted  for paddle boards at $25 for a full day. So we picked up a lunch and headed for the lake with our boards and prayers I wouldn't fall in the cold water despite the locals trying to tell this Georgia girl it was "hot this week". I didn't really fall for it but I let them believe it was. I know they would mock my "it's cold" so I called a truce. For our adventure we explored the Hyalite Reservoir and it did not disappoint. With camping and hiking around the lake it's worth a day visit or overnight camping stay. And no, I did not fall in. 

The next day we were off  to good ol' Yellowstone! I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS SO BIG. If you enter the park on the Bozeman side you are still an hour from Old Faithful. SO BIG! The best spot we logged some time at was the Grand canyon of Yellowstone. There's a big waterfall and short little trails to hike for those that don't care for big long hikes. Even on a cold rainy day the views were simply amazing. Also, I noticed there are a great deal of Asians in the park. Not sure why, as Montana is as diverse as a box of cheerios. If any one can explain this cultural phenomenon please let me know.But back to my frugal adventure. In total the cost to get into the park was only $35 per vehicle (prices are seasonal) and the cost of lunch at the canyon diner was around $10. Because we split the cost of the entrance fee it was a fairly frugal day. 

                                              

        When all else fails in Montana, go hiking. There are little baby trails and long switchback trails and  a few tough trails. So take your pick but make sure you don't go your first day there. Altitude sickness is no ones friend. Under the recommendation from my airplane buddy Bill, we hiked up Sacajawea Peak. There is a reason why this is on the National Geographic Top 20 hikes. I (a non-hiker) made it. It has its tougher spots but for the most part is a great hike. The views are breathtaking, but come to think of it that may have been the elevation. You hike 2,000 feet of elevation in 2 miles. My little Georgia lungs felt the thin air but on I went. I'm told there are mountain goats on this stretch of the mountains but alas my hike was goat-less. While the hike is amazing on its own, the real gem is Fairy Lake tucked in behind the trees. 

Fairly Lake lives up to it's name and how magical this place looks. A rainbow of wild flowers flowing down the mountain to a crystal clear blue lake. The pictures don't do it justice at all. I HAVE NO WORDS. I could have sat and stared at this place all day long. While access to the trail and lake are free, it is seasonal and you drive on a very rough dirt road to the get there. 

With the last day of  my trip we set off the explore the Lewis and Clark Caverns. Here you take a short little incline hike to the cave entrance. From there you are guided further into the mountain and into the "rooms". With witty tour-guides, a 40 degree temperature, and low entry fee of $12 its worth it! The tour last 2 hours so make sure you don't have to use the restroom. 

When you are in Montana you will realize a few things. 1. No one here wears a fit bit. THEY DON'T NEED THEM. 2. Snow Shoeing is a perfectly good answer to "what did you do this weekend?". 3. They only sell Pepsi and unsweet tea. However, there is a saving grace in this beautiful town. It's called The Roost. Here you will find all your southern essentials. Friend chicken, biscuits, all the fixens and the water of the south also know as Sweet tea. They also have Coke products to cure any withdraws you may be having. It's well worth the visit even if you aren't from the south and could care less about tea and coke. The food is top notch and I don't mess around with good food. 

To say this town stole my heart would be no further from the truth. I Just really hate cold weather so here I will stay for now and plan my next adventure. Which may or may not be Buda, Texas. 

Why we need cross-generational friends

        When you grow up your friends are your age. The world groups us by age for school and sports instead of ability levels. With a September birthday I was always the oldest. From school to sports teams, very few were older and if so, only by a few days. To top it off I was the oldest of all the May kids. Then we moved and I became the oldest kid on the block. To say I have a first born personality would be an understatement. I always found myself a little more mature than my peers and not really caring about their social lives.

 As you go through grade school and middle school we defined our friendships by the confines of our grades. A sixth grader could not possibly be seen with the fifth graders at the neighborhood pool. Social suicide right there. This always baffled me because the girls in the grade ahead of me only had a few months or weeks on me age wise. Sadly, I was in a lower grade and thus off limits for friendship. Then high school hits and the grade lines start to fade. Once you surpass freshman status it didn't really matter. In college it was easy to spot the freshman, they dressed up for class, but other than that no one really cares in college and every one is friends with every one and it's wonderful. Unless you were that "adult learner" in class. No, you cannot be in our group because you will actually care about this project and we don't.

 As I've joined the adult world I have accumulated a group of friends ranging in age, AND I LOVE IT! We 20 somethings need you 30 and 40 somethings. We need your wisdom, examples and encouragement. We need your wisdom to tell us "Hey, you may want to go on that big trip now, while you can."

To my married friends, we need you to show us what a marriage really looks like and that it's actually hard. Disney and Hollywood have misled us for decades and we need you to show us your struggles and success. To give us solid advice such as, we can't really change his slightly annoying habits. Not only are you great for a marital life, you show us how to parent little ones and balance life. I am still trying to figure out how to manage me and my basic needs. How you keep these other little humans alive and functioning and non annoying manner is beyond me. Well done.

Some days you need us to be a buffer for your kids. We will gladly play with your kids and have fun with them when we get together. We value adult time too, but for those of us with out kids and who love them, Your kids help fill that void for us. Hopefully we can be a good example to your kids. If any one needs a non-married 20 something example, I am nailing it. But we love your kids. I recently sent a letter to a girl at camp.Because why not?! We can be trusted adult in your kid's life. I want to feel young again too and being with them is fun. Feel free to share your kids with us. We love them and you.

As for you wiser folk, you encourage us when you don't hesitate to tell us to take a big trip or go abroad. To take the job or move. You guide us with careers and all the little tiny baby dreams we have. You know, the ones that seem to overwhelm you because they are just so big? When you're scared of where this dream might lead you or heaven forbid you might actually be successful and get what you wanted. You encourage our baby steps and remind us that they matter. You remind us of when you went through life in your 20's and how it was equally awesome and hard. We see you made it to the other side of becoming successful and it gives us hope that we will too. We need you and your encouragement in this time of uneasiness.

Don't worry, you need us too. Kids are forgiving and we love them for this. The world hasn't worn them down yet and most of what we do is awesome to them. We need them to get excited about our lives and give us the energy we need to carry on those big adventures we take. You know the ones that you have helped guide us along. They give us a new energy and life and I hope this is what I do for my wiser friends. You need our youthful energy and excitement for the world.

You need us young sprightly ones too. You need us for friends who don't have kids or husbands and will talk about anything but those two things. We will go see that chick flick movie with you or go get a pedicure. We will go to that store your husband loathes and we love.You need us to explain social media and show you the good shopping and eating spots. Maybe us young-ins bring new enthusiasm to a dream you had or help shake you out of that rut. Maybe we just remind you of a fun time in your life.What ever role we fill, we're glad to fill it.

 We need more cross generational bonds in this world. Life is to short to navigate it alone. Yeah, I think my generation is pretty awesome and we're going to do big stuff with our time here, but we think you guys are pretty awesome too.

What cross generation friendships do you value?

Why The US Women's National Team is Breaking Our Hearts

As I coached watched the US Womens' Soccer Team desperately beat Columbia 2-0 the other night, I went to bed sad with the lack of good soccer our team is putting out. I'm not sure what is causing the lack of "Wow" factor they are playing with this world cup, but my heart is broken for them. This is a group of talented women who chose to play a sport because they love the game. They are beyond talented and so deserve to win a world cup (hello 16 year drought). They are amazing women with individual stories to tell. They are the role models that more athletes should be. They stay in their soccer world playing their game. Rarely do we hear of them outside of a soccer story. Yet, we are being so very critical of the their performance so far and it's breaking hearts.

This past year I had a group of students who were sure they would be NFL stars. I found this more than annoying. They didn't want to play because they loved the game (ok, one of them did) but they wanted to be famous and have a Nike contract. A precedent set before them no less.Being the realist that I am, we quickly researched the average career span of an NFL player to find it was 3 years. Most are left bankrupt 3 years after that. I have yet to see an endorsement for being unemployed and bankrupt before 30.  I told my kids they could have the NFL dream, just have a back up plan too. This is where the National Team is different from other athletes. The US soccer team loves the game first. A few of them make good money with endorsements and a world cup win would land them a nice bonus check or two, but they love the game first. Sure there's a Women's League to play in, but the pay isn't much. They didn't dream of endorsements, fans and autographs growing up. They just wanted to play soccer.


These players love the small loyal fan base they have, because for many of them, I'm sure they remember watching the 99' world cup final where the team became America's Sweethearts. The 11 year old in me who watched that game wide eyed and on the edge of my seat, so longs to see them win again. The next generation needs to fall in love with this team and the amazing women that wear the uniform. If you follow any of the players on social media you will see how grounded they are. They can be seen playing pranks, card games and singing on the team bus. Much like the many youth teams on the road. Making them that much more lovable and real.

They are humble in interviews and will generously give their time talking to fans. Carly Lloyd stayed after training to talk to the press and had to ride back after the team bus left. So when she saw a group of girls decked in the red white and blue (FYI Nike: those are our colors) she had the car stop and she hopped out to say hello. Watch the video here: Carly Surprises Fans. Obtaining an autograph from a player is fairly easy if you attend a game and stick around.

Tomorrow the team takes on China in the quarterfinals and you can watch the game on Fox at 7:30 (ET). A 99' world cup final rematch. While we should win this game, soccer is so very unpredictable. My hope for this game is that the "WOW" factor is back. That America falls in love with this new generation of players whom we so love this team and believe in all that it can do. The next generation needs you just as we needed the 99's. #Shebelieves

Remember this moment?

To follow the team behind the scenes check out these short videos on Behind the Crest or get to know them with their 23 Stories 

And this SNL skit it just wonderful so here's a bonus one for you: World Cup SNL

People You meet (deal with) at the Atlanta airport

A recent trip led me to one of the busiest places on earth. Atlanta's Airport. It really is an experience on its own. You'll feel like you will have been on an adventure before you ever actually get to your destination.

First you will have to find your way to security, but be sure it's not the TSA fast pass lane or Delta Sky line security. They will kick you out. Once you find the correct line, you may enter. Unless you're stuck behind some one who doesn't have any form of ID on them. Why this person is a functioning member of society I do not know.  Luckily for this individual her back was turned to me and could not see the "can you really be this dumb" look on my face. Fun fact, you can prove your identity with a prescription bottle. I feel safe now.

Now it's time for the Metal Detector XRay Box-o-Fun. For said contraption you must remove shoes and stand in line. This is not sacred ground like that at the Grand Ole Opry, but cold tile that every one else has had their gross feet on. Now being Atlanta we can be fancy at times and some have come dressed to impress. You'll have to wait behind the fashionista as she takes off her very adorable but not TSA friendly shoes, and her 6 pieces of Jewelry. This can also be said of the T.I wanna be with his chain and belt buckle. We are so diverse here. If you're lucky you will make it though with ease. However there's a 50/50 chance that some one packed something they should not have and they have to scan the bag back and forth, back and forth, Little slower, but back and forth while you watch ole Joe sweat. This can be stressful or funny depending. Personally, I just wanted to point on their recent TSA fail rate of 95% and to move on! Who is allowed to continue working with those kind of numbers any ways??!


You will also have to wait as Fashion and T.I re-accessorize post Box-O-Fun. I believe their should be a line for intelligent people and a line for those of the less gifted kind. Unlike the tiny airports scattered over our country, A train ride is required to get to your gate. Don't jack this part up.

Once at the gate you can people watch and it't fantastic. You will more than likely observe the following people:

Cute family of 5: All kids under age 6 and with cute adorable kiddie luggage. Now I know it's 2 bags per person but a 3 year old cannot carry around her adorable flower suitcase on wheels. It's 3/4 her size and poor dad is left getting on the plane carrying all three of said suitcases. Just put the kid crap in your bag and call it a day. Save us all from your boarding struggle.

A business man on a phone call. Those that travel for work have every right to work while they wait. There's just no need to be that loud on the your phone. We don't care about bay 3 at the warehouse. Must you all be so loud?? Find a spot in the corner and use your inside voice.

Meal packers. There is no need to pack a lasagna in the jumbo tupperware for a 45 min flight. It's just overkill in my book. Also in the food category are the loud eaters. No, I am not sorry for the glare of death I gave you for gulping your pizza so get some manners.

Then there's the sky-miles seller. I once got to watch a young black guy on his first day of work. He would only approach young black females for his sales pitch. His female boss later showed up and showed him how it's done. I love observing society.

After the observation hour is over it's time to board. They will begin boarding and by begin I mean first class, and such. However, the people will disregard this information and the herd will rise and cluster around the gate looking slightly agitated that they are out of their seat. Chill Veruka, there's not a gold tick hiding on the plane for you. No need to stampede the gate. I have yet to figure out why every one wants to get on right away? I'll just wait and stroll on at the end with ease.

Karma caught up to me on my travels this time. My punishment for silently mocking the people I watch was handed to me on the way home in the form of a seat in the last row between to "walls of humanity" as the man referred to it. There I sat all 125 lbs of me between two guys well over 300 lbs each. The arm rest disappeared never to be seen again. When headed for my seat the flight attendant couldn't even look me in the eyes. It was that bad. Luckily it was short flight as my fresh oxygen supply was being sucked up by the hibernating bears I wouldn't have made it much longer.

I tried to read because that's how introverts deal with the world. It was hard to focus and I ended up rereading the funny spots in Jen Hatmaker's new book For the Love. She puts some of the funny parts of life in her honest heavy books and they are wonderful. If you find yourself stuck between two giants, have something fun to read.  Who know what next air port adventure will bring. I will leave you with my nub hot dog legs between the walls of humanity......

Other side of the pitch

When you coach youth sports you meet amazing families and some shall we say, who let their colors show. After playing the sport and logging a few year of coaching you learn to see the big picture to youth sports such as what matters at each age and what level you are playing at. I'm often asked questions about coach and if I could tell one thing to sports parents it's this: See the forest through the trees.

First of all, if you have to tell me "I'm not that overbearing crazy parent" I hate to break it to you, but you are. Don't try to tell the coach you played in the 80s so you know how it is. Again, being the barer of bad news, in the 80's any girl willing to run and wear a sports bra made the team. Women's sports and the game of soccer have evolved in the past 30 years. But please, do tell me your thoughts.

Over the years I have had the pleasure of coaching the most emotionally stable age group ever, girls ages 11-14. 15 players on a team, 65 personalities. I like to call it emotional roulette. Some motivated by critical comments where others would crumble at the slightest hint of criticism. Some simply needing to be told, job well done. Each team I coach was so very different from the last. One year I coached a team that's wasn't close to a top level team in the soccer word, but they worked hard and had fun. They were from blue collar families and they played like it, pure reckless abandon. We had so much fun. The next year I had a team of nerds with a mostly white collar lifestyle. They were beyond analytic and I am convinced that if I gave them a text book and said their would be a test, they would have won a few more games. No actual practice with a ball necessary. A group eager to please and make sure every one was having a good time. They challenged me as a coach and I enjoyed trying to figure them out. As a parent, take note of the team and player dynamics. They matter in girls sports. Those dynamics change the way we coach.

Some parents wonder why their supper star suddenly can't do anything right. With kids growing and learning, they are all due for an awkward and frustrating season around age 12.  It's a little thing we call puberty.  No one is coordinated during puberty. Dribbling a ball while your feet and legs grow at an unnatural rate is not easy. To the parent who is wondering why sally suddenly can't hit the broad side of the barn, she grew 6 inches in 3 months, let it go. She'll get her groove back.

Too many parents don't understand why their kid doesn't throw a ball or kick a ball with 100% accuracy 100% of the time. Well first, that's impossible and two, they are learning. Kinda like how your kid didn't learn algebra in one math class. It took a few years to really sink in. Mistakes are part of life, but more importantly it's how you respond to that. As a coach who has logged way to many hours at try outs, we expect them to make mistakes; we just want to see how they react to them. Did they hang their head or chase after the ball? I can teach the skill but I can't teach the heart.

Stop stressing about divisions and standings so much. If the goal is college ball, I have a secret to tell you so listen in. If you want a spot on a college team its yours for the taking. Hundreds of spots go unclaimed every year in women's athletics. I know girls who stopped playing for a good 2 years and got a spot on a college team. IT'S NOT THAT HARD, SO CHILL. I promise your child will figure it out and play at the college level if he or she wants to. Just see the forest through the trees on this one. Trust me, it will all work out. Your standings at age 13 will matter never. Most kids under age 10 have no clue the score during a game. Even when they are getting killed, they are happy to play.

The most dreaded  beloved time for a coach are try outs. Try outs bring out the best in every one. Parent's don't freak out their kids and coaches maintain status-quo stress free social lives during those weeks. (Laura, I'm sorry for the one time when your husband and I had to call each other 50 times on your weekend anniversary trip. It wasn't our fault I swear!!) I once counted the number of phone calls made in 72 hrs following try outs. Well, I stopped at 144 so I don't know the grand total..... but you get the point. If you get a phone call about a spot on the team don't think about it and call them back 4 hours later. Take it or leave it then and there. That coach has other people to call and if you don't want the spot some one else does. You are not God's gift the sport and you are replaceable. A note to parents; please, please let your child take this call. They need to hear the offer to be on the team just as much as the coach needs to hear the reaction of the excited kid. Those are some of the greatest moments when I get to call a player and make an offer for a spot on the team. This is a perk of the job so don't take it from us.

If you want to try out some where else, tell your coach. We won't take it personal just let us know so we can be prepared to fill your spot if we need to. Again, not God's gift the sport. not telling us is kinda like a break up over a text.  It's a life skill your little slugger needs any ways. They will one day need to turn in a notice at work and should know how to do so.

Don't try and tell us lies or stories either. We have heard them all and know what your are really saying. I'm sure "some parents on the sideline" were saying that. But go a head, tell me what you think hear.

A funny fact about kids, they think they have opinions, but they are really just yours. Your child inadvertently tells us everything you say about the team and our coaching. It's really quite comical some times. But go on with your dog and pony show.

Finally, trust your kid's coach. They more than likely played the sport for years and have been coaching for many more. They know the trends of each age group and how divisions and teams shake out at each level and age. If your coach is working in the here and now and getting a result, cool, but you may want to look through a few trees while you're in the winners circle. I see a lot of teams win in the early years and crumble at u-15 and u-16 because they lack a solid foundation but by golly they won state at age 12. That's what counts right??

I once had a player juggling a club team and middle school team one season. She aggravated a muscle (maybe her legs were tired??) in a club game so I told her to take the week off (this is where I see a forest) and Dad didn't see why she should couldn't play in a middle school game later that week. She ended up hurting herself more and missing more games. Glad my input matters never.

Despite the crazy ones, Some parents are fantastic and we as coaches love them. They feed us between/during tournament games, supply a cold beverage of all kinds when needed and let their kid be a kid. They don't talk shop with us and are just content with their kid doing what they love and learning to be a good person along the way. These ones see the forest and remind us why we coach.

A group of us coaches were once sent and e-mail by one of these parents (we don't get these often, so if you like a coach let them know) thanking us for what we had done not for her daughter's soccer career, but her character. You see she fought to make varsity as a freshman and worked her way to some playing time. She soon found herself taking the last penalty kick in a rivalry tie breaker, she hit the crossbar and it went wide. But when the ball didn't bounce her way she didn't melt down or have a fit. She was composed and full of class. That was what her mom was proud of in that moment. That her daughter knew how to work hard for something she wanted and when the wind didn't blow her way, she held her head high. That parent sees the forest.

So chill out about the kids and the sports and the winning and take in the bigger picture.You will miss this when it's gone so enjoy it.

I took an IQ test....

JUST KIDDING! However, I did buy Ikea furniture and put it together so same thing. About 12 or 13 years ago a lovely little shop called Ikea decided to call Atlanta it's home. There it has sat in all it's big blue box glory just of 16th street. Ikea I love you and I hate you. Once you find your way into the store the sensory overload sets in and the "Oh my gosh I need this" thoughts pop up. You just have to tell yourself that, no you don't need that entertainment center that works so well in a 400 sq. foot home. You don't need to remodel your entire kitchen. You also don't need all those containers for all your organizing pinterest board dreams. I talk about you later Swedish meatballs (so cheap and yummie!). If you go, to just go, you will buy more crap you don't need. So go with caution and mission.

My mission was a nightstand. I found my furniture and noted the Aisle and Bin number because that is just the IKEA way. Good luck in your mission that is the stock room at the end of you tour. It's kinda like gift shops on your way out of a museum or Disney ride that scream "Buy our crap and Give us your money!!!!!" If you're lucky your boxes are small enough and light enough to carry. Allowing you to not need the assistance of one of their carts which you can push around about as well you can help a drunk sorority girl walk in heels.

Because Ikea loves to save us some money, you get to assemble your furniture yourself. YAY!!!!!
  (still waiting on sarcasm font) Which brings me to the following:

1. The packaging with really nifty warning labels. I assume this is a universal symbol:




2. Next, you open the box and see all the pieces and I have flashback to my brother's transformers and their 50,000 parts. This is where you start to regret your decision to go the big blue.

3. Needing some zen,  you give yourself some positive self talk. You see the instructions and you kinda sorta remember what it looked like on the shelf in the store. anxiety is down, confidence is up.

4. Then you see this little guy in the manual. Is this the big blue spokesperson?? We will call him Sven as I assume he is Swedish. Is he telling me to get some screw drivers and call if I am missing some? Clearly the Swedish couldn't spare a few pennies on actually posting their help line number.

5. So you lay out all your parts and everything checks out and the anxiety continues to lower and you keep telling yourself "This can't be that hard" then you check the first step... no words. I'm a visual learner but OH MY GOSH! PLEASE, PLEEEEEASE charge me an extra dollar to get a few words printed in my instructions. I don't mind paying for this piece of information.

                                                         

6. Assemble you will because the thought of putting this back in its original packing is just to traumatic. Luckily they now idiot proof these things and put little arrows on important parts. Yes, you will need those arrows just accept it.

7. I would akin the Ikea furniture assemblage to a religious experience in that you might meet Jesus here. I encourage you to accept a prayer for wisdom and patience if this happens. I only managed to put one piece in upside down and refrained from any foul language. I think I passed the Ikea IQ test.

I'm told after child birth you kinda forget the pain and willingly have another. Ikea furniture is not like this my friend. I will not be buying any large more complex pieces of furniture. I will stick to simple shelves from now on. Here's my finished project. My brain is now tired. IQ test are hard.

On the eve of the last week of school.

4 alarm clocks. That is all that stands between me and the end of the school year. 4 long, slow going days. The to do list keeps growing and students keep showing up every day. There's lots to do and kids to keep occupied because let's face it, They're done as much as we are. So here are the letters I'd write in your yearbooks if I could...

Dear student who is dropped of at 7:05 EVERY MORNING,
      I love your curious mind. It's a wonderful thing at times. However the sun isn't up yet and I haven't had my coffee and you have already asked 6 questions. No, I don't know when the test on the book we are reading will be. There actually isn't going to be a test, we just needed a reason to keep you quiet for a bit. Sure, play on the computer just STOP WITH THE ASKING OF QUESTIONS.
   
To the student cleaning up spilled water,
        I know cotton balls were the first thing absorbent thing you saw, but that is a terrible solution to your problem. I can't help you with this life skill. Best of luck in middle school.

Dear little ones asking if we are going to have recess on field day,
      We've been outside playing for 4 hours, but sure, we will take recess too.

Dear Concerned Parent who's child has an 89,
        Thank you for the multiple e-mails regarding said 89. Grades are not done yet, but you can't know that because it's only the class blog and in the parent news letter. If you come to my class you'll see it written on the board too. I'd much rather talk to your child about said 89 as they need this life skill. I promise what ever grade your child earns will not keep them from getting in to college or even the magnet high school. He's 10.
 
Dear student who just asked what time lunch is,
        We eat lunch at 12:20. EVERY DAY for 176 days, but no, I do not know what time lunch is.        
To my less organized students,
        please, please go clean out your locker and back pack. I'm sure all your missing assignments you swore you did and turned in are in there. Just please clean it out, soon.

The end is near and I can't wait to do nothing with no one. Oh and maybe have the energy to go out on a Friday night.

Killing Weeds

Killing weeds is never fun. It may be cathartic if you've had a rough day, but no one jumps at the chance to weed the garden. It's just not pleasant. I recently found myself cleaning the yard and killing weeds with my trusty bottle of round up and like most mindless task, I found myself thinking about life while I sprayed roundup on what I hope were weeds.

You see the weeds in my yard are two and half years old. I know this because that's how long it's been since our yard received some serious love. The weeds were symbolic of our lives going through cancer and then grief. When you enter the world of life with cancer, your new normal does not involve yard work, or home repairs. It involves clinics, hospital stays, trying to not fall behind at work, and fast food. Then we lost our new normal life and entered the world of grief. Part grief and part exhaustion from the past year and half collided and the energy to do anything outside of the normal means to life, was just to overwhelming. For every weed, a new emotion.

You see when we first entered the world of cancer people were quick to help with out us asking. Food was delivered, a group showed up to finish some projects and clean the yard. We were and are thankful for this. It helped make the transition easier.  Then the rain fell and the garden grew. Yard work was never any where near the top of the to do list.

Grief is terribly isolating. However, if you go the other side of the world, you will find a group of women who smile the biggest smiles you have ever seen. These women are either widows or left by their husbands. Due to the culture and legal marriage age of 15 they have limited skills to earn a living and mouths to feed. These women have banded together and are supported by the community. They learn job skills as these women go through life together. Not because it's fun or church organized. They have to. To put food on the table and educate their children in hopes of a better future. If you are ever blessed to meet a group of these women I hope they rip your heart out in the best of ways. I have met these women and they are full of more life and love for the lord than any one I have ever met. In meeting them all I wanted to do was cry with an over whelming emotion I can explain, but I couldn't cry because soon a short 4 ft 5 woman with missing teeth grabbed me by the arm singing with the biggest smile on her face. Soon we were in the dancing circle singing and dancing. I couldn't cry, they were just too happy and I didn't want to rob them of this joy. These women in this community who had nothing, were so very happy. This is where happiness is in its purist form. Living life and supporting one another because it's what they must do to live. It wasn't about a monthly to do at the church or a biannual event. It wasn't way to feel like they had served the lord and filled up their Jesus tank.

I thought about these women and how great they have it. You see my family has been on the receiving end of these church groups and good deed quota feeling events. But here I am, killing weeds, while my yard has been cleaned up and repairs fixed, those weeds grew back because cancer and grief aren't a one time thing. They are a lifetime thing. While everyone is quick to help once or twice, few are willing to walk this path; for those few who have we are so very thankful.

While my dad was sick and in the months following a neighbor would push his lawn mower down the street to our house and cut our grass. He wouldn't ask or say "Call if you need anything". He just did. Friends that call and say "I'm a minute from your house and coming to visit"  Those are God's people. The small group of people who I would call my parents true friends, who showed up to clean and organize our garage with out motive. And this tiny group, even though my Dad no longer gets to join them on their Friday night Mexican dinners, my mom is always invited. Still a part of the group.

I am often asked "Hey, how's your mom?". I have decided I will no longer answer this question. I am not her and I can not tell you how she is doing. If you want to know, call her, message her, stop by the house and find out for yourself. I once had a fortune cookie tell me "Joy shared is doubled, sorrow shared is halved". This cannot be more true.

This phase of life has taught me to help other with out asking and to listen when a friend needs to talk.

In short, if you find yourself wanting the share God's love with some one in need, be prepared to pull up the weeds when they regrow.

Candy and Standardized testing

Here's to you bag of Easter chocolates on sale,
        I bought you as a reward for my students weathering the spring storm of standardized test. You seem like such a small offering for the torture their minds go through. I'd take them all to sky zone to jump, but I'm a teacher and that's just out of my pay grade. So clearance sale candy it will be. My small offering to my little troop of 5th graders.

 I don't know what I would do with out you recess cups and cadbury eggs. I justify the calories I consume with the 2 miles we pace in the room while the kids test. I really did buy you for the kids. When the silence and white walls start to get me, your chocolate and peanut butter yumminess are there for me. You're all I have. Devoid of human interaction and conversations.

 I know peppermints "help the do well" and I enjoy a nice peppermint on occasion, but this a job for chocolate. When I am on my second group of kids for the day and hour number 4, you are still there.... for the kids of course. When I eat my lunch walking down the hall between rounds of testing and only get to eat half of it, you're there waiting for me. When my blood sugar flat lines from doing nothing for hours on end, you are there with your colorful packaging, and you mini cadury eggs are just the thing to spike the blood sugar. You really help the kids wake up and recharge on those 10 minute breaks they get. Thanks for getting us through this testing season, you were really there in those moments of despair.... for the kids.

Being an Athletic Girl is in style.... finally.

I'm finally in style. It only took 25 years to be cool to be athletic. I'd like to thank Brandi Chastain in the 99' women's world cup for getting this movement going so many years ago. It still took a good decade to really make being a female athlete cool but it's here. It's been a long time coming my friends. I'd like to think I was just so in fashion I was a decade a head of the others. 

I have tried to be in style, I have. It's just that I really, really hate shopping. God forbid I need to go buy new jeans. I may or may not wear a pair of my brother's old pants that no longer fit him because they actually fit me correctly. When it comes to shopping, I'm good for one or two stores and they better not have crowds. To all the older girls who lived on my street and current friends who regularly clean out their closets and give me the good stuff; I thank you for keeping me semi in style all while avoiding shopping. 

It's not that I don't want to be super girly, I just don't care and spend my time/money else where. Take for instance Middle and High School. On the days I put on my little one thing of eye shadow, it was warn off by third period and I just didn't care to put more on. To reapply I would have had to do one of the following: walk through a very crowded hall to get to a bathroom to get a tiny mirror to put it back on and that is totally do-able, I just HATE being late to things and being late to class just wasn't an option for something dumb like make up. I could also carry a mirror and make up with me but that would require a bag of some sort and my school supplies were enough to keep up with. I also had soccer every other day and saw no need to put on make up before hitting the fields. 

Back in day, the women's athletic section was oh so very tiny and majority of it in pink. They were bleak times my friend. I remember when the soccer store got girls cleats for the first time. Now we have entire stores dedicated to women's fitness and all the athletic gear we could need and not in pink. Whether we actually work out in said clothes is another story, but a girl can dream. Times have changed and it's wonderful. Athletic clothes are in and I am finally in style.....kinda. 

Like most people, my clothes reflect my mood. Last spring I looked a hot mess 6 out of 7 days. Cause I was. Grief is so fun. My clothes also factor in my whole day. I dress for the majority of my day and being comfortable for such majority. Don't expect me to get all fancy for six flags. Lastly, weather. I live in Georgia and it's currently 80.......in April. It's a little warm down below the mason-dixon and I just want to be comfortable. I'd wear shorts but apparently having them only as long as your underwear is a thing, and I just can't do that. So a cotton sun dress it is. 

My hair has always been a topic of conversation with "Why don't you wear it down more?" Again- below the mason-dixon. I have freakishly thick hair. Both of my parents were given the gift of hair so their spawn got really, really thick hair. It took me a few years to learn to tame this beast my friends. Our family hair stylist, Brittany (she's awesome) will speak on my behalf. The phrase "Omg, It looks like a dead animal on the ground" has been used after a trim. Also, I hate hair in my face. HATE-IT. And pony tails and messy buns are in. So again, I was a decade a head of you. 

Here's the equation: Mood + majority of day + weather = outfit

To those of you who look cute all the days of the week. I commend you. I admire your cute style and would gladly help you clean out your closet. However, I draw the line at monogram Monday. If you want to do my shopping for me. I will gladly give you some money, ok not much money cause I also hate paying for clothes. But feel free to shop for me on a budget. 

Now shopping at REI and Nike running shorts are in. Title Nine and LuluLemon, I love you but I am a teacher and can hardly afford your sale rack. But still I love you. I'm glad that being an athletic girl is cool and I hope it stays. Healthy isn't skinny and muscles don't make you look a like a man, but there's a limit to the muscles one. So lets all accept each other as we are with how we dress cause you don't know what some one's dressing equation is. 

The colors duke!!!!

For quite some time now I have wanted to do a color run. However, thanks to the ole coaching soccer gig, weekend time was not exactly ideal. I signed up in January for this bad boy because I'm not coaching this year and I can sign up for things and not have to worry about a game schedule. If you've never coached, you don't know this joy. Few things are greater.

It was Cold, The sweat bands kept our ears warm

I convinced my friend Mandy to tag a long in the 11th hour. Fun fact, once you run a half marathon, no one wants to do a 5k with you. I don't always have to run ya'll. I will be more than happy to go at your pace for the fun stuff where there isn't a prize for winning. I'm just a girl looking for an adventure buddy.

We kicked off our first day of spring break by heading down to Atlanta motor speedway to the happiest 5k

. We checked in and got a our race gear then quickly ran back to the car cause it's was windy and cold. But soon it was time to start and off we went. First color up, Pink. Followed by orange, blue, yellow, and silver glitter. The call this bad boy The color run and it really should be a color walk. A good 80% of the participants, walked. Those that were running where 1st time 5k people. It was a very odd thing to see no one actually running a race. The course around the track was easy with only one hill. There were young ones as old as 5 "running" this bad boy. There was also a set of girls riding scooters. I kinda felt like that was cheating, not that any one actually won the "race". In short it was a fun experience. One odd thing I have never seen before was they had constant start times. When we finished, people were still checking in and headed to the start line. I have never seen a race set up this way. But over all I would highly recommend this to any first time runners, people who just want to walk or want a family friendly race. They're doing a glow in the dark run this fall and we plan on signing up. Feel free to join us!

Because you are wondering: Yes, the color washes of easily unfortunately, the glitter takes a little longer to shake off.

In efforts to better the world....

In efforts to better America I write the following:

Fashion tip: Leggings aren't pants and not every one should wear them. Spandex is a right not a privilege. I recently helped out at high school youth retreat and realized I now look at the young teens and say “what are you wearing?!?!” I-AM-OLD.  An oversized t-shirt with leggings, socks and chaco sandals isn't a favorable look on any one. I didn't know looking homeless was cool. I know I am no fashionesta by any stretch of the imagination, but my word young ones. Step it up a level.

Group text messages: Like leggings, they have their place. First one to arrive at dinner and get the table, sure send the group the message. Sending a message to see if any one wants to go see a movie? Sure. Something funny happens and you want to tell a few people; sure, send away. Last minute change in plans because there's a 3 hour wait at the bowling ally. Yes, that information needs to be communicated in mass and quickly. But can we please, for the love of recess Easter egg cups, not carry on with the group text about nothing?!?! Here's a few pointers: if you don't know all the contact on the message, don't try to be funny. If it is in no way shape or form related to the matter at hand, just don't. Being on a group message is kinda like that time I was stuck on plane for 8 hours by an 82 year old Dutchman who hadn't showered and my mini tv didn't work. I don't enjoy my phone pinging relentlessly with your fodder. Just stop with the groupness or apple give me a way to opt out of this hostage situation I beg.

Taking pictures with our mouth wide open- are you trying to catch an m&m? goldfish? peanut? or did you just win bingo? If the answer is no, close your mouth and just smile. We don't need to see your molars.

Hash tag abusers: Hash tags serve the following purpose: To link up post about a common topic such as #lightthenight. That hashtag has purpose. Creating one for your wedding is fine. Couples should get to see all the pics their friends take at their wedding. You can make a hash tag or two to be funny but cut it off at 3. Some of you have way to many and it serves no purpose in life. Lastly, quit hash tagging your kids. Your hashtag makes what ever you post public so tag accordingly.

I think if we all work on these little things our world will be a better place, just a tad. But in the words of the greatest movie of my generation “Quit trying to make fetch happen”

I never get picked for anything.... until NOW!

Growing up I never ever got picked for anything. Tested for the gifted program and missed it by 1 point... 1. I still haven't won a pie walking contest! EVERY ONE WINS THOSE. Raffles, Contest, Guess how many inches/jelly beans/due dates. ALL WRONG GUESSES. In fourth grade I wanted to do science Olympiad and because so many kids wanted to do it, they had a paper airplane contest to determine who got to be on the team. REALLY!?!?! No, I don't hold grudges at all. I did once win Braves tickets from Mcdonalds when I was 9. So I guess I won something once. I would score goals in soccer and the paper would put some one else's name! In 8th grade the PE award went to a way less athletic girl, (Athletics was all I had back in the day) only to have the PE teacher tell me "We really wish we could have given the award to you too". Seriously?! I held all the PE records for girls and a 6:10 mile.

In college there was a group in my sorority that won all the live long time. Good luck just followed them every where they went. Go to a concert and get selected for upgraded front row seats, radio contest won, scratch off lotto tickets with enough zeros to match the whole $2 I would get; won. At least I broke even with my ticket. There should be some equilibrium to the contest world. Once you've hit your quota you lose. No more being picked!

But today the I call an equilibrium in my contest world and I will sacrifice being selected for any other thing (except mabye the lotto) because I have cashed in my winnings and get to be a part of Jen Hatmaker's new book For the Love launch. Deep down I am believing I was selected for my wit in charm and not for fitting a criteria. There were 5,000 applicants and they picked 500 of us. If you know me, you know Jen is "my BFF" even if we've never met. I found her through her book "7" then Interrupted  and was hooked with her wit and charm paired with love for the world and Godly outlook on this big mess we call life. I realized there is hope for my personality type. I have given her books to many of my friends and talked about her show Our Big Family Renovation on HGTV and gotten others hooked. She's just simply awesome in all the ways. I'm usually not an excessively emotional BUT OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here's what I get to do. Read the book before it hits the shelves and spread the good words to the rest of the world. There's more to it but I've been sworn to secrecy. I feel like I should have a members only jacket for this.

So Karma I call us good friends again. You and the contest/application/please pick me world have made up for your past discretion. Now to wait on my copy of For The Love.

Side Note: You can pre-order the book and wait on the mail man with me. I'd love some company.

I'm only half crazy, I think.

I RAN MY FIRST HALF MARATHON!

A week later and it doesn't quite seem like I ran 13.1 miles. All the miles are jumbled together in my mind and it kinda feels like a 5k in my brain. My body kindly reminded me it was in fact 13 as I was a little stiff the following day.

We signed up for the race in August when it all seems like a really fun thing to do and sure you have more than enough time to train. If you have never signed up for a Disney race, the spots go quick and I recommend getting set up on the e-mail reminders. When I signed up online they put me on hold..... I didn't know that was a thing, but it is. So I "trained". I ran some miles, did some work outs, but I didn't really stick to the plan and wasn't near running long enough distances. Yes, I realize the term "long runs" is a personal opinion. I knew I was in shape but not sure if I was half marathon in shape.

Our group of four packed up and headed to the happiest place on earth. Magic Kingdom. We spent our Friday enjoying all that Magic Kingdom has to offer. Despite it being Florida's "day of winter" at a windy 50 degrees, we had a blast. Thanks to the weather the line for splash mountain was nonexistent. So splash we did. We had a surprisingly healthy and yummy meal at the Harbor House in the kingdom. I highly recommend this location for some food. Because it was winter day in Florida they gave us free hot chocolate. Bless them.

Packet Pick Up

Saturday we went and picked up our race gear and went to the expo where they have all things running and Disney. We had a fun casual day getting excited for the race and checking out all the vendors selling running stuff I didn't know existed. This also made me second guess what I did/didn't have to get me through this race. Would I need one of those foot massager foot sticks? Would I need compression sleeves for my legs?? Did I need the special muscle cream?? There is only one vendor with the privilege to sell Disney race gear with shirts and skirts and all the other things you didn't know you needed in trend with your favorite Disney gal. While I really did like the companies clothes, I  wasn't crazy about their designs. They put big bows on all their items and that's just not my style. I was a little bummed to not see some of the cute shirts I had seen on pinterest with cute quotes from movies. Like one that says "just keep running, just keep running", However, I walked away with a Disney princess race weekend shirt that I like. After dinner at Bongo's in down town Disney we were off to bed.

Start Line

At 3:30 the alarm went off. Ya'll. That's crap early. To my surprise I woke up relatively easy and excited to run. We were very calm and zen like beforehand which was not how I anticipated feeling. I'm sure I was calm due to my excellent training regiment. (I really need a sarcasm font) A few granola bars later and we were on the shuttle to the start line. We stayed at the fabulous Pop Culture resort. I recommend staying on property for the race. It will take a lot of stress out of your morning trying to get in the park and find a place to park and then walk and walk some more. Trust me on this one. The shuttle system they have set up for the race is flawless to and from the race. Kudos Disney on the transportation. Also, all Disney hotels cater to the runners schedule with breakfast on the go ready to be purchased for a small fee of course.

So when you get there you walk a little ways to get in to the holding area. You can drop off your gear if you need and then take a nice little walk to the starting corrals. There are more than enough porta-potties along your walks for all you nervous peers. If you're like me and not crazy about being cold. You can wear and old jacket or sweater and drop it at the start or along the race and your item will be collected and donated. Again, nice touch Disney.

With 4 in our group 2 having ran before and 2 newbies, we were all set to be in different corrals. We just picked one the middle and it worked out just fine with us all running together. So we lived like cattle and hung in our corral with the other runners.

All the runners taking pictures! 

Out comes fairy Godmother to wish us well and the fireworks go off and the really fast runners take off. The rest of us chill in our holding pins like cattle. Every few minutes, more fireworks and another group goes. The sound reminded me of the Hunger Games when they put the pictures up on the sky at night. Fairy Godmother is quickly replaced by two guys who are fairly entertaining as each group gets its start. 30 minutes after the start it was finally our time and we're off to the Magic Kingdom! Just past the start line is a marching band to get ya going, Nothing like a good drum line to start a race. With a mix of running levels we went with a run 4 walk 1 pace for the race from the start and it was the best thing we ever did. The first part of the race is on back roads and the highway in the park. They have set up characters and some parade floats to keep you in the Disney magic. Porta-pottys are along the race trail and if you can make it to mile 2 or 3 the lines are gone and it won't kill your race time to stop.

 Lines quickly form to take character pictures as well. This is the part of the race where you see the first group of runners looping back, you'll hate them. Around mile 5 you hit the Magic Kingdom. And you need it at mile 5. I was starting to the wall but then you realize how close you are and you forget that your have just run 5 miles and have many more to go. Entering the Kingdom is pretty awesome to say the least. Running down Main Street while the crowd cheers like crazy. Through tomorrow land past the tea cups and you will be greeting with gentlemen with boxes of tissues. While running this race is emotional, I didn't feel the need to cry about the castle. Maybe I'm just too much of tom boy for this emotion. Once you go through the castle and wave to the crew from Frozen, it's picture time. It's a cool place to stop and take a few pictures. After a few photo ops we took off through the rest of the park. Back to the side roads where characters and DJs cut jokes. You have one hill and it's curved road up to the overpass. It's NOT FUN. It's just an awkward nor level road, but because they are Disney and every little detail has been thought about, you will find one of the green army men from Toy Story encouraging you and engaging people in push up contest.

 After that it's a straight shot to Epcot. You hit the 12 mile mark and you decide to book it to the finish (well, we did) and in to the park you go and down around the fountain that you really just want to jump in you loop the fountain and head back to the globe. I ran around corner after corner waiting to see the finish line. I was on the last mile by golly! And the sides are lined with people cheering "you're almost there!!!' and took all I had to not stop and grab someone by the collar of their shirt and demand they tell me exactly where the finish line was. It felt like the longest mile and point one of my life. But then I saw the finish line, so I ran. and I ran. I crossed the line not sure if I should cry, jump for joy, hug some one or just collapse. I collected my medal from one of the Grandma volunteers who was as equally excited to give me my medal as I was to receive it.

After the race there's lots to do, take pictures, have a beer, and enjoy your snack box while you sit down with a bag of ice on your feet. I didn't think I was hungry, and then I opened my box where it was filled with salty chips and cheese dip, apple sauce, chocolate, and much much more. I loved my snack box more than I probably should have.

We came in under 3 hours with our 4:1 pace which was perfect for a first race. I never felt like I was going to die or just couldn't keep going. I'm sure running with a group and being entertained by all the magic of Disney helped and what ever is in those little cliff bar jell packs. That thing gave me a new leg on mile 7.

I didn't know how this race would go and I probably prayed more about finishing this race than God needed to hear about, but I finished and felt better than expected. It was an awesome first for sure. I would highly recommend this race to any new runner or experienced runner. It was nothing short of amazing and magical. One day I would like to do the glass slipper challenge where you run the 10k and half in a weekend. You get a special Medal and t-shirt for it. But that's a story for another day. I doubt I'll ever feel the need to run full marathon and I'll stick to being half crazy for now.