I took an IQ test....

JUST KIDDING! However, I did buy Ikea furniture and put it together so same thing. About 12 or 13 years ago a lovely little shop called Ikea decided to call Atlanta it's home. There it has sat in all it's big blue box glory just of 16th street. Ikea I love you and I hate you. Once you find your way into the store the sensory overload sets in and the "Oh my gosh I need this" thoughts pop up. You just have to tell yourself that, no you don't need that entertainment center that works so well in a 400 sq. foot home. You don't need to remodel your entire kitchen. You also don't need all those containers for all your organizing pinterest board dreams. I talk about you later Swedish meatballs (so cheap and yummie!). If you go, to just go, you will buy more crap you don't need. So go with caution and mission.

My mission was a nightstand. I found my furniture and noted the Aisle and Bin number because that is just the IKEA way. Good luck in your mission that is the stock room at the end of you tour. It's kinda like gift shops on your way out of a museum or Disney ride that scream "Buy our crap and Give us your money!!!!!" If you're lucky your boxes are small enough and light enough to carry. Allowing you to not need the assistance of one of their carts which you can push around about as well you can help a drunk sorority girl walk in heels.

Because Ikea loves to save us some money, you get to assemble your furniture yourself. YAY!!!!!
  (still waiting on sarcasm font) Which brings me to the following:

1. The packaging with really nifty warning labels. I assume this is a universal symbol:




2. Next, you open the box and see all the pieces and I have flashback to my brother's transformers and their 50,000 parts. This is where you start to regret your decision to go the big blue.

3. Needing some zen,  you give yourself some positive self talk. You see the instructions and you kinda sorta remember what it looked like on the shelf in the store. anxiety is down, confidence is up.

4. Then you see this little guy in the manual. Is this the big blue spokesperson?? We will call him Sven as I assume he is Swedish. Is he telling me to get some screw drivers and call if I am missing some? Clearly the Swedish couldn't spare a few pennies on actually posting their help line number.

5. So you lay out all your parts and everything checks out and the anxiety continues to lower and you keep telling yourself "This can't be that hard" then you check the first step... no words. I'm a visual learner but OH MY GOSH! PLEASE, PLEEEEEASE charge me an extra dollar to get a few words printed in my instructions. I don't mind paying for this piece of information.

                                                         

6. Assemble you will because the thought of putting this back in its original packing is just to traumatic. Luckily they now idiot proof these things and put little arrows on important parts. Yes, you will need those arrows just accept it.

7. I would akin the Ikea furniture assemblage to a religious experience in that you might meet Jesus here. I encourage you to accept a prayer for wisdom and patience if this happens. I only managed to put one piece in upside down and refrained from any foul language. I think I passed the Ikea IQ test.

I'm told after child birth you kinda forget the pain and willingly have another. Ikea furniture is not like this my friend. I will not be buying any large more complex pieces of furniture. I will stick to simple shelves from now on. Here's my finished project. My brain is now tired. IQ test are hard.

On the eve of the last week of school.

4 alarm clocks. That is all that stands between me and the end of the school year. 4 long, slow going days. The to do list keeps growing and students keep showing up every day. There's lots to do and kids to keep occupied because let's face it, They're done as much as we are. So here are the letters I'd write in your yearbooks if I could...

Dear student who is dropped of at 7:05 EVERY MORNING,
      I love your curious mind. It's a wonderful thing at times. However the sun isn't up yet and I haven't had my coffee and you have already asked 6 questions. No, I don't know when the test on the book we are reading will be. There actually isn't going to be a test, we just needed a reason to keep you quiet for a bit. Sure, play on the computer just STOP WITH THE ASKING OF QUESTIONS.
   
To the student cleaning up spilled water,
        I know cotton balls were the first thing absorbent thing you saw, but that is a terrible solution to your problem. I can't help you with this life skill. Best of luck in middle school.

Dear little ones asking if we are going to have recess on field day,
      We've been outside playing for 4 hours, but sure, we will take recess too.

Dear Concerned Parent who's child has an 89,
        Thank you for the multiple e-mails regarding said 89. Grades are not done yet, but you can't know that because it's only the class blog and in the parent news letter. If you come to my class you'll see it written on the board too. I'd much rather talk to your child about said 89 as they need this life skill. I promise what ever grade your child earns will not keep them from getting in to college or even the magnet high school. He's 10.
 
Dear student who just asked what time lunch is,
        We eat lunch at 12:20. EVERY DAY for 176 days, but no, I do not know what time lunch is.        
To my less organized students,
        please, please go clean out your locker and back pack. I'm sure all your missing assignments you swore you did and turned in are in there. Just please clean it out, soon.

The end is near and I can't wait to do nothing with no one. Oh and maybe have the energy to go out on a Friday night.

Killing Weeds

Killing weeds is never fun. It may be cathartic if you've had a rough day, but no one jumps at the chance to weed the garden. It's just not pleasant. I recently found myself cleaning the yard and killing weeds with my trusty bottle of round up and like most mindless task, I found myself thinking about life while I sprayed roundup on what I hope were weeds.

You see the weeds in my yard are two and half years old. I know this because that's how long it's been since our yard received some serious love. The weeds were symbolic of our lives going through cancer and then grief. When you enter the world of life with cancer, your new normal does not involve yard work, or home repairs. It involves clinics, hospital stays, trying to not fall behind at work, and fast food. Then we lost our new normal life and entered the world of grief. Part grief and part exhaustion from the past year and half collided and the energy to do anything outside of the normal means to life, was just to overwhelming. For every weed, a new emotion.

You see when we first entered the world of cancer people were quick to help with out us asking. Food was delivered, a group showed up to finish some projects and clean the yard. We were and are thankful for this. It helped make the transition easier.  Then the rain fell and the garden grew. Yard work was never any where near the top of the to do list.

Grief is terribly isolating. However, if you go the other side of the world, you will find a group of women who smile the biggest smiles you have ever seen. These women are either widows or left by their husbands. Due to the culture and legal marriage age of 15 they have limited skills to earn a living and mouths to feed. These women have banded together and are supported by the community. They learn job skills as these women go through life together. Not because it's fun or church organized. They have to. To put food on the table and educate their children in hopes of a better future. If you are ever blessed to meet a group of these women I hope they rip your heart out in the best of ways. I have met these women and they are full of more life and love for the lord than any one I have ever met. In meeting them all I wanted to do was cry with an over whelming emotion I can explain, but I couldn't cry because soon a short 4 ft 5 woman with missing teeth grabbed me by the arm singing with the biggest smile on her face. Soon we were in the dancing circle singing and dancing. I couldn't cry, they were just too happy and I didn't want to rob them of this joy. These women in this community who had nothing, were so very happy. This is where happiness is in its purist form. Living life and supporting one another because it's what they must do to live. It wasn't about a monthly to do at the church or a biannual event. It wasn't way to feel like they had served the lord and filled up their Jesus tank.

I thought about these women and how great they have it. You see my family has been on the receiving end of these church groups and good deed quota feeling events. But here I am, killing weeds, while my yard has been cleaned up and repairs fixed, those weeds grew back because cancer and grief aren't a one time thing. They are a lifetime thing. While everyone is quick to help once or twice, few are willing to walk this path; for those few who have we are so very thankful.

While my dad was sick and in the months following a neighbor would push his lawn mower down the street to our house and cut our grass. He wouldn't ask or say "Call if you need anything". He just did. Friends that call and say "I'm a minute from your house and coming to visit"  Those are God's people. The small group of people who I would call my parents true friends, who showed up to clean and organize our garage with out motive. And this tiny group, even though my Dad no longer gets to join them on their Friday night Mexican dinners, my mom is always invited. Still a part of the group.

I am often asked "Hey, how's your mom?". I have decided I will no longer answer this question. I am not her and I can not tell you how she is doing. If you want to know, call her, message her, stop by the house and find out for yourself. I once had a fortune cookie tell me "Joy shared is doubled, sorrow shared is halved". This cannot be more true.

This phase of life has taught me to help other with out asking and to listen when a friend needs to talk.

In short, if you find yourself wanting the share God's love with some one in need, be prepared to pull up the weeds when they regrow.